Funeral Etiquette
Many of us are unsure what comforting words to say to a grieving family, or how to respond to someone experiencing sorrow. Knowing a few simple funeral etiquette guidelines can help anyone feel more comfortable in both a funeral and visitation setting.
When Should I Visit?
Once you learn of someone’s death, visiting the family at their home may be appropriate, but the funeral home is often the best place to visit and offer condolences to family members. If you would like to offer assistance to the family before services are held, these actions can provide additional comfort. Offering to bring food or household necessities, assisting with childcare and helping with errands or chores are a few ways you can support the grieving family.
What Should I Say?
This is the most common question asked by someone who wants to pay their respects. While no words can adequately express the depth of a loss, offering a few kind words to the family can let them know you care. It is generally best to avoid airing your grievances or saying the deceased is “in a better place now.”
Where Should I Sit?
Many people attend funeral services and are unfamiliar with seating arrangements. Typically, at both the funeral and visitation service, the first rows of seats are reserved for family members. If you are not a part of the family, choose a seat behind the reserved seating.
What Should I Do?
Arriving on time is important. When entering either the funeral home or another location, enter as quietly as possible. If you are attending the visitation, speak to surviving family members and offer your condolences before taking a seat. Cell phone use during a service is inappropriate. If you need to answer a message or call, excuse yourself and step into another room or outside.
Should Children Attend?
While there isn’t a single answer to this question, bringing a child to a visitation or funeral service depends on the situation, your relationship to the deceased and their family, the age of the child, and whether or not they can appropriately behave during the service. If you decide to bring your child, explain what will happen and what is expected of them during the service.